Sunday, December 28, 2008

Sync'd - the Alternative Punk'd

Nobody told me that there would have to be a synchronization period before ThatManILove and I would be back to our “oneness”. I think I've been punk'd. Where the hell is Ashton?

I guess 3 1/2 months is a long time to be apart.

After Christmas Day with our Littles (as in Big Brothers Big Sisters), we took Zack and Zanna to the dog park. Then, we decided to go to the late late movie – the four of us. It was fun. Until we got home and ThatManILove and Younger Son decided to have a “discussion,” eventually drawing us all in. Nothing like a little conflict on Christmas Night. Elder Son intervened and brought some clarity to the situation. Finally, everybody kissed and made up.

Since then, our house has been the setting for a comedy of errors.

This morning, I decided to let MLH sleep in. So, I got up with the dogs at 5:45 a.m.. They did their “business” and I begged them for a few more hours of sleep. They complied, until about 9:45 a.m., when they told me they were “Starving, Mom! Just starving! You never feed us! Where’s the number to PETA?”

(What. What? Your dogs don’t talk, I take it? Well, B.S. You have to channel your inner Dog Whisperer. Mine is called Cesarina. She’s a short Hispanic chica who does some mean rollerblading. She has zero problema being the pack leader, if you get my drift.)

Back to this other crap.

I decided to let ThatManILove catch up on some ZZZZ’s ‘cause that’s how I roll. When he woke up, we ran the dogs for a bit, and then decided on flights back to the PA. I started some laundry, threw a roast in the oven for supper, and decided I needed to take a break…

Just about the time ThatManILove decided we needed to be 100% packed at 2 in the afternoon so we would be ready to roll to Dallas at 9 a.m. tomorrow. I mean, he was getting all antsy about it!

MLH: I think we need to pack, really, Jane.(he only calls me that when he’s mad.)

Jane: Dude. I can so pack in twenty minutes. I’m getting good at it since you’ve been gone.
(for you newer readers, he usually packs for me - and he's damn good at it!)

MLH: Since all my stuff is still in the PA, we’ll both pack in the same bag.

Janie: Let’s see. I have to take 6 days worth of clothes, and makeup, and all that entails, and we’re going to pack in the same bag. Guess it’s going to be pretty warm up in the PA. Think shorts and T-shirts should do it?

MLH: Jane.

Janie: I’m really needing a nap. I haven’t had any down time in forever. Are you good with that?

MLH: I want us to get packed.


Later, I’m folding clothes and I hear him talking. I realize that he’s talking…to me. From three rooms away. I go into the bedroom, where he’s watching TV.

Janie: Hey, Babe, are you talking to me?

MLH: Yes. Do you know where my socks are? I can’t find any! Y'all have to quit putting my laundry where I can't find it.

Janie: They’re in this drawer, this drawer, and this drawer.

MLH: I’ve got to get all this cleaned up and organized.

Janie: Nothing’s changed since you left for the PA. Nobody's worn your laundry, honey.

Then, supper.

MLH: Do you know where the wine corkscrew is?

Janie: No. That's another coincidence - there’s been no wine consumed here since you left, so it would be pretty safe to say you had it last.

MLH tears into every drawer looking for the corkscrew, griping the entire time. Finally he finds it, in the implement drawer. Later, at the table…

MLH: You know, I’m really not feeling a “welcome home.”

Janie: Are you kidding me? (And that’s all I’m going to say about that conversation.)

Later on, I’m counting the 18 Robert Earl Keen tickets to the concert we’re going to miss, trying to decide to mail them to the attendees, or to give them to John and Suzan for distribution, or split them up between Mike and Pam and John and Suzan for further distribution between all the people that are going without us to the concert, or go by Bass Performance Hall and put them at WillCall, or what. I have tickets all over rows D and E, and trying to figure out who gets what.

MLH: Girl. How many times are you going to count those tickets?

Janie: I’m just trying to figure it all out since I don’t quite have a fix on who’s taking who.

MLH: You need to go pack, seriously, Jane.

I finish with the tickets, and go into the bedroom to start packing, and…

He sleeps. And he looks so dang cute when he’s curled up like that, with his head resting on his hands. Arrrrrrrrgh!

We gotta get sync’d up before we head to the PA – or that ride home will be the longest in the history of rock and roll.


Braja said...

Yeah...I'd forget me and whistle his tune for a's his holiday, poor guy, all outta synch :)

Janie said...

Yeah, you're right...and I did!
Plus, he'd had zero sleep. Hope that migraine's gone!

La Belette Rouge said...

I imagine that amount of time apart could make the reuniting both fantastic and challenging. Hope you got it all worked out and back in sync in no time.

Janie said...

We're there, Belette - it just took a day or so...and some sleep!

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Whoa, all I have to say about that is, You're Totally the most Patient wife of all time!!!

Warped Mind of Ron said...

LOL... give him a few days to get back to normal. If it takes longer than that smack him ;-)

Travel Writer said...

LOL....So sad for him!

Michelle J said...

I love this post! It made me chuckle!!

I am not married so i don't really know the ins and outs of reuniting but it seems you have it all under control girlie!!

Also, i love the fact that you have an implement drawer!! So, why does hubby have socks in three different drawers?

You sound like an adorable couple!!!

Have a great Monday my friend!!!

Julie said...

Ah hahahahahahahaha....

Love this story!

Jeff said...

I think it all sounds wonderful!

Janie said...

Texan Mama - I try. Seriously. I'm a saint - or I will be soon.;)

Ron - he's back to normal, all is good! Thanks!

TravelWriter - so sad for Me!!;)

Michelle - the 3 sock drawers story will be told soon!

Julie - thanks, ma'am!

Jeff - it is, sir, it is!

Lynellen said...

Janie, being out of sync is very normal. Military families are most familiar with this, but they have the complicating factor of ptsd these days. It takes time to overcome, but if you're aware that he'll be out of sync at least you wont be taken by surprise

Janie said...

Lynellen - that's a good point. I'll know better how to handle this next time.

I've been thinking about our soldiers a lot during this holiday season.

Anonymous said...

Hey Chica - the roast is delicious!
Had it for lunch yesterday and will make enchiladas out of the leftovers tonight. I guess this makes me a full fledged heifer if I wasn't one already..............
Enjoy the ride and watch out for the ice!

Janie said...

Hey, girl, there is spaghetti sauce in the frig as well, forgot to tell you!

The Wife said...

Wow, and here I thought I was having a bad weekend! Thanks for the comments. Sorry to hear about your loss as well.

Junosmom said...

Perfectly normal, Janie. My sister has a pro-hunter for a husband, gone more than he's home. When he gets back, it is hard to get back into a rhythm, to let things go one didn't have to even address before. Glad to hear you're working it out.

Braja said...

Atta girl, God said, "You might just be the best damned girl in Texas" :)))))