My friend Suzan came in from Lubbock last night. We got up early this morning, packed my truck, including the puppy crate, and got ready to go to Kansas to pick up the pups. Zack was jumping into my truck, then he’d jump into Suzan’s. That dog is so smart. And he loves Suzan. Sometimes, in the night, he’ll go jump on her bed and sleep with her for a while. She calls him her protector. Anyway, the boy knew something was up, and a crate in the back of my truck means one thing to Zack…HUNTING.
We got everything loaded, and MLH put Zack up. We got in my truck, MLH got in his, and we went to breakfast, then we were on our way, anticipating a fun, girly-girl trip. I am on vacation, after all. But it was not to be so. I am a stressed out chica. How could I be stressed, you say? When my friend is driving us to Kansas and all I have to do is loll in my leather reclining butt warmer equipped seat and talk on the phone all day?
Well, heck. Even though I employed my Microsoft Outlook “out of office assistant” prior to leaving the office last night, in this oilpatch, YOU NEVER REALLY GET AWAY. It’s a good thing my friend loves to drive, because this is how today went.
Suzan: Um…Janie, would you like me to drive? You’ve been on the phone since we left Midland, and it seems like it’s getting pretty intense. I can’t read or write while riding, I get carsick, so why don’t you let me drive?
Janie: Done. Just let me get off this phone and we’ll stop at the next town.
Smart woman, that Suzan. And she may be a prophet, because almost everything that could go wrong in my side of the oilfield went wrong today. I’ve been on the phone to Houston, Midland, Oklahoma and sending and receiving e-mails. All. Day. Long.
I had called MLH a couple of times to check in, to no avail. Finally, he called. Turns out he had quite the day, too.
MLH: Guess what happened?
MLH: Well, I stayed at the Harvest Caffe, working for a couple of hours after y’all left.
MLH: And I went home. And Zack…(pause)
Janie: Zack what?
MLH: Zack had gone in and ummm….urinated on Suzan’s bed, on her side. I had to strip everything and I’m going to steam clean the bed and the floor and…
Janie: WHAT? What was he doing in the house? I thought you put him outside?
MLH: Nope, I left him in – he always does so good.
Janie: Yeah, he does. Do you think he’s sick?
MLH: Hell, no, he’s not sick.
Janie: You’re teasing, right?
Janie: (seriously speechless.)
MLH: That’s not all.
Janie: What? Okay, you’re serious. And I’m seriously scared. He really went on Suzan’s bed? Zack’s not done anything like that since he was a puppy. Ummmm…that time he got mad at you at Pam and Mike's house.
MLH: Yeah, I know.
Janie: Okay, tell me. What did he do, as if that wasn’t bad enough?
MLH: He pooped.
Janie: WHAT? HE POOPED? IN THE HOUSE? WHERE?
MLH: In the living room.
MLH: On our brand new zebra rugs. Both of them. I'm going to have to steam them.
Janie: What the heck?
MLH: Yup. Twice.
Janie: Are YOU SERIOUS? Are you sure he’s not sick?
MLH: Yes, I know he is not sick. And, honey, this was no accident.
Janie: What do you mean?
MLH: This was calculated.
Janie, in shock, but trying not to laugh out loud: Oh, my God.
Janie, trying not to laugh, words barely recognizable: Umm…where is Zack, now?
MLH: In. His. Kennel.
Janie: Have you let him out since?
MLH: Yes. Once. And I’ll get him out again, because I have to take him back for his veterinary checkup. But right now, he can just sit right there. He is in deep...poop.
Later, MLH called me to tell me that they were going to the vet. And while he’s talking to me, he realized that he had locked himself and Zack out of the house. It’s all good now, he’s back in and just got back from a dinner date with his LB1. As for Zack? He’s back in his kennel. He’s had supper, and he’ll come in to sleep in his crate. I bet he’ll be glad when his momma’s back.
Maybe my day wasn’t so bad after all.
Naaaaaaaah. I had a great day.