Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Becoming One With the Mac - by Captain Smack

Oh, yeah, I can hear the crowd roaring now: Be the Mac! Be the Mac! Be the Mac!

Holly, The Blue Ridge Gal and My friend JP of The Big Red Lunchbox and the photoblog Bleu Chocolate (go check him out!) all left Mac tips for which I’m very grateful. I will be trying them out. Brother Scott told me to call upon my nephews, which is a dang good idea, if I can possibly coordinate my calendar with their calendar. Lots of people told me to just go ahead and load my shotgun.


Captain Smack from the blog “This Is Your Captain Speaking” left a comment concerning my Mac I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up MacRant yesterday.


With his permission, I’m going to share it with you.

"If you're having trouble with The Mac, it is a spiritual problem, not a technical one. The Mac is not a brand, dear, it is a religion. Obviously, you are not believing in The Mac hard enough. To become one with The Macness, say this prayer:


Dear Steve Jobs

Who art in iHeaven

Hallowed be thy apps

I giveth unto you

Thy heart Thy soul

And thy credit card information

In hopes that you will show me

The error of my PC ways

And leadeth me from temptation

The temptation of using a much cheaper

And much more user-friendly product

For you are The One

And The Zero

And all the ones and zeros

The Alpha and Omega

Not to mention that iPhone thingy

Which really kicks ass

Though it is a bit pricey

But I digress

Anyway

Please give your commercially hip guidance

To me, my mouse, and my wallet

And show me

The Way

The Way to copy a simple file from one folder to another, which really shouldn't be that hard, but for some reason is, like, a total freaking pain in the ass, what the hell???

*ahem*

I shall fear not

As I walk through the shadow of the valley

Of bad customer service

And confusing help menus

And toolbars placed in odd locations

For no apparent reason

For I know that at the end

Of this struggle

I will learn how to copy/paste jpegs

And even install some freeware

And then it will all make sense

For I can brag that I have a Mac

I am one of The Chosen Ones

And all those PC users

Can kiss my ass.

Whatever and ever

Amen"

17 comments:

Chatelaine said...

Ooooh, I see the Mac cult and the Obama cult have the same prayer.

snark, snark >:-P

jill jill bo bill said...

NO WAY!!! That is HILARIOUS! Captain Smack is my new crush.

Irish Gumbo said...

Crap, I must really be a freakin' pagan. Stuck here in the wilderness, wearing my Vista hairshirt...O Jobs why hast thou forsaken me?

Oh, that's right, it's because I'm a sinner. Dammit!

TexasRed said...

That is fantastic!

The Other Janie said...

You're not making my decision as to whether to walk toward the Mac light or turn and go back, any easier. I don't read instructions very well so if I can't plug and play......I'm doomed.

Carolina Girl said...

That is the funniest thing I have read all day!!!!! (All month actually) LOL

Belle said...

Janie, without the Captain's permission, I, too wrote about him today. And you. Check it out.

Captain Smack said...

Did I say that? Jesus I must have been drunk.

The W.O.W. factor said...

LOL! This is just what I needed to read today!! Maybe I'm glad to not have a Mac...

Michelle said...

COOL!!!

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Hope the Mac life you are now leading is going a bit smoother today.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Gwynne said...

Oh, that's hilarious! And see, Eric The FireAnt had me convinced that once you went Mac, you could never go back. Please do keep us posted on your spiritual conversion. :-)

Vodka Mom said...

wait- is this where the drunks are congregating???

Buddha's Place said...

You go, you mac lover...macking on the mac.

Sabrae Carter said...

lol! you mac lover you

Coffee with Cathy said...

I have a friend who, months later, still is struggling with transistioning all her data to her new Mac. The folks at the Apple store, she says, tell her this is the worst they've ever seen and she may have to give it up.

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