Monday, July 28, 2008

How Much Are Permanent Fake Eyelashes, Anyway?

Last week, I had an early morning chiropractic appointment. I go to a soft touch chiropractor, Kevin Willhite, in Midland. On those chiropractic appointment days, before I leave the casa, I’ll put on my makeup, with the exception of mascara, because if I do put on mascara, when I get up from the treatment table, my eyelashes will be stuck to my eyes. (Dang. Is there a limit for commas per sentence?) I have heck getting my eyelashes unstuck – and I don’t wear that much makeup. Not even the Tammy Faye look, so don’t even go there. And after I get my lashes unstuck, I have to start over on makeup to go make my customer visits. So, I’ve recently decided to ditch mascara on those mornings until I’m through with the treatment. Usually, I'm grabbing for it as I walk out of his office, and put it on in the parking lot.

Immediately following my chiropractic visit last week, I received a call from one of my customers, who was visiting from a far-away town, checking on his local operations.

Customer: Janie, can you come to the Hilton? I don’t know where your office is, and I’d like you to meet some people.

Janie: Sure…but my office is just north, across the grass. You were supposed to meet me there at 9 a.m. this morning (and I don’t say, but I think “and 9 a.m. yesterday morning, aaaaaand 3:30 p.m. yesterday afternoon!" But you know I’m thinking it.)! (Hey, I have to get my licks in here.)

Customer: I know, girl, but I don’t know where your office is. Pretend like I’m stupid, and come over here.

Janie: (Man. Talk about wide open.) Okay, let me park my truck and I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.

I park my truck, run into my office, grab some cards, and go. I find my customer in the lobby, waiting on me.

Customer: Okay, let’s go. I want to introduce you to the president of my company, as well as the el jefe manager.

Janie: Great!

We go to the hotel restaurant, I meet the gentlemen, and we have a short meeting. I make a quick call, and my VP comes over, as well, and joins us. The meeting seemingly goes well. We adjourn, and go our separate ways, my coworker and I heading north across the grass to our office.

By now, it’s time for my Thursday lunch date. I grab my purse, reach into it for my keys…

And find my mascara.

That I forgot to put on after the chiropractic appointment.

Prior to meeting the president of a major independent oil company.

That is currently spending millions in Janie’s oilpatch.

I looked at my receptionist with a look of shock on my face.

What? She says. Did you lose your keys?

No, I said. It’s nothing. See ya later.

I cursed myself all the way to the car, where I slammed on my mascara and hauled butt across town to my lunch date.

And no, guys, I wasn’t driving and putting on mascara. Not for more than two levels of my parking garage, anyway.

But girls, can’t you just imagine what those guys said?

“They seemed like nice knowledgeable people, but what the heck was wrong with that chick’s eyes?”

Aw, heck. They probably didn’t even notice.

Riiiiiiiiiight.

8 comments:

Pam said...

Let me know when you price them, ok? My eyelashes and eyebrows are red, well actually strawberry blonde, so they really don't show up. If I am not in the mood for make up and I'm "going to town" ie the post office and the dollar store, I ALWAYS put on my lashes and brows. I'm not vain or anything.
Did they notice...probably not. Would it matter? Nah! You're too good a salesperson for that!

Bee Repartee said...

I doubt they were thinking of your bald eyelashes. :) Perhaps it's time to change mascara so it doesn't stick. Funny story, though...

Janie said...

Pam - I know, they're probably freakin' outrageous...and they're not really permanent, anyway. So three months down the line, you have to start over.

The ones I've seen do look amazing.

Bee - any suggestions as to type of mascara?

Lone Chatelaine said...

Girl, I have already looked into this, and it's very doable.

Lash Out

It's about $150-$300 per eye, depending on how much "glamour" you want. I think they last 2-3 months. I want it.

I have also checked into the permanent transplants. That's where they take hair follicles from your head and transplant them in your eyelash line. They grow just like the hair on your head grows, though, because well...it's hair from your head. So you have to trim them! Can you believe that? Trim your eyelashes! But they're permanent, so that's a plus. Around $6000 per eye, though.

You should have known to ask me ;-)

I've forgotten to put my mascara on before. Just rushed out in a hurry and forgot. I've asked and people said they never noticed. Kind of made me wonder why I ever bother at all, you know?

Lynellen said...

Any guesses why your mascara is sticky? Is it not dry before you get on the chiro table? Does is get moist from the moisture in your eyes?

Maybe a waterproof mascara?

Gretchen said...

If they were men, they probably didn't notice. :) Men are pretty clueless about most things anyhow. Now if it were a woman, she would have noticed and most likely told you.

Janie said...

Chatelaine - I want those lashes, too.

Well, not the $6000 ones...they would be nice, but...if I'm going to drop bucks like that, I'm going to use it to get the "girls" reduced.

Lynellen - I've been using the mascara from Origins - I like the "piecy" look it gives. And basically, you're laying your face on that paper they put on tables, on top of a vinyl facepiece...so probably just the heat does it.

Gretchen - you're probably right. I wish I did work around more ladies! Well, I think, anyway......heh.

Janie said...

Lynellen - that Origins mascara, to further elaborate, goes on without clumping, no matter how many layers. It stays all day (well, if you put it on after the chiropractor!) and I really like the way it looks.