CaCa Patrol

Well, I am surviving without the MLH being about and around. Not saying it’s easy, by a long shot, but I’m surviving!

I have noticed that somehow, the house is staying cleaner…(translation for Jill Jill Bo Bill: I’m only having to “pre-clean” for about 20 minutes as opposed to 1 hour)which makes for a happy housecleaner that doesn't qui-yut you! And I’m getting to hook up with my girlfriends a little bit, when I’m not watching the Zanna-meister. And she is the master of this house, at this point. I will get it turned about, but, she is wearing me out. Seriously.

Overall, Zanna BoDanna is doing better acclimating to the house. She kennels on command almost 100% of the time. When I get home, we (Janie, Zack, Zanna) go into the tv slash music room slash storage room and shut the door and lounge for a bit. When she wants to go outside to pee, she goes to the door and sits. Now, that’s what I’m talking about.

Pooping, however, is entirely a different matter. I can’t get Zanna’s rhythms down. She is consistently pooping, but at inconsistent times. I feed her, and about halfway through feeding, I’ll take her outside. Because that was her pattern...eat a bit, then poop, then come finish eating. Now, as she’s growing, she’s changing her ways. Just like a woman. Dang it.

And Zack just looks at me, shaking his head, like he’s saying, “C’mon, Mom. Dad say’s you’re the freakin’ horsewhisperer. Can’t you figure this little heifer out? I tried to tell you, I did.” As. I. Pull. My. Hair. Out. Hard.

And you know, you can only correct wrong behavior in the first 30 seconds, or itisoverwithdonegonenowlet’sgoplay in the dog’s mind. First thirty seconds? I can’t even breathe, her poop is so rank. It permeates the house. How the heck can I correct the Zanna Montana within 30 seconds? Arrrrrrrrrgh.

At first, Zanna would come out of her kennel, grab her blankie, whining for a good 10 minutes. This absolutely didn’t mean she needed to go outside, though she would…dragging her blanket, wouldnotletitgo dragging, which resulted in her dragging a now wet blanket back into the house (wet grass, rain, or she pees on it because it is under her, since she drags it around.) (I’m going to have to catch this on video so y’all can see it, it’s hilarious.) She whines whenever she has something in her mouth – she’s still teething, so she always has something in her mouth. Whine, whine, whine. And if the ZZ crew is in the outside kennel, after her first initial burst of freedom, Zanna has to run into the house to her kennel, grab the blankie, and do it again. Whine, whine, whine.

Zanna still does that, but just this afternoon, I noticed another whining. And I didn’t pay attention to it, so, yup, caca happened. Maybe that’s the key. She may be telling me now and I’ve missed it. I’ll let y’all know on the next ZZ Crew update.

My boys are 27 and 20 and I.have.regressed.to.poop.patrol. Once again.

I really didn’t expect it to happen until one of us became incontinent in our late 90’s - hopefully, not me. Or, the grandkids arrive, which if you measure this by the rate that our boys are getting wedding bells ringing in their heads (not.at.all), will be the 12th of never. In which case, when and if you get grandkids, you hand them (the grandkids, that is) back to their parent, with elegance, i.e., little fingers extended, right? I mean, it’s their job then, our sons, that is. I’ve paid years of poop duty. And that was before they had the reward training potties with little targets and bells on them that they do now. Ah, well. I honestly don’t know how Jon and Kate Plus 8 are still living.

Zack and I went to practice on birds on Wednesday, and took Zanna. Zack was a hunting monster. He’s so amazing. I tied Zanna to the truck, and sheloveditsoverymuch. (It’s not time for her to be close to shotgun sounds, but it exposes her from far away, so she gets used to the sound.) She really did well. When we returned from the field to the barn, I released her, and she followed Zack back out in to the field like a machine. Zanna tried to keep up with his every step. I threw a live lock-winged bird and she retrieved it every time. She is liking that retrieving thing.

She’s getting more socialized, there were dogs and other people around, and she was a flirt. She gave up on Zack in the field, and started playing with Laci the Lab, and they went into the pond together. That Zannagirl will not give up. If Dog 1 is in the water, she wants to be there – first. And she’s scared of no dog.

The cost of entertainment is a relative truth. Or I’m pretty simple.

You tell me.

Hey, MLH, if you’re reading this, I love you and miss you. Have fun. Make money. Come home soon. Zanna will probably be housebroken…or I’ll be taking valium.

Uh-oh. What’s that smell?