Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Sponge

I’m like a sponge.  No, I am a sponge. I think I’m absorbing the feelings of everyone around me.   I’m up, and I’m down.  I’m down, and I’m up.  I don’t know what’s going on with me, but tonight, I’m gonna have to go hunting.  For me.  And writing is part of that, so you get to go along with me!
You see, I’ve lost my smile.  Just today, I noticed it was gone.  And for no obvious reason.  Oh, lots of peripheral things are going on...
ThatManILove is reviewing his business books and though he knew it already, he’s seeing exactly how we dumped way too much into a project that just sucked up dinero like a vaccuum with no return.  So, he’s plowing through the black and white of it all.  I’m encouraging him, and...loss carry forward on your taxes is a good thing, right?!
One of my best friends is wending her way this week through the halls of M.D. Anderson, trying to find out answers to the pre-diagnosis of a brain tumor.  I wish I could be with she and her husband right now, to help, and to just be there.
Two weeks ago tonight, four of Younger Son’s friends and fellow ensemble musicians suffered a horrible auto accident - one is dead, one lost her arm (and she’s a mandolin player), one’s in a coma, and one suffered many broken bones, but is healing.  Younger Son was supposed to be with them...but was tired, and opted out of the late movie date.  We’re so very thankful Younger Son’s alive and intact.  Watching him deal with the grief, the heart issues and the mental part of the accident aftermath is one of the hardest things we’ve ever done.  Watershed moments in a young man’s life...
Thanks for listening....
I’m gonna get quiet now, and get back to myself.  Yeah, I am.  Y'all better be ready.
But for now...Peace.  Be still.


20 comments:

Terri aka Pepsi's Mom said...

Give your pups a hug.........works for me.........

lani said...

oh janie it is so hard when so much is going on but you are strong and can be the one for all....my prayers are with you now .i love you.....

Irish Gumbo said...

We are all in search of that quiet, Janie.

Thoughts and prayers are with you and yours...(hug)

Miss Emily said...

Sending healing and warm thoughts to you, Janie. *big hug*

Milton Waddams said...

Like you I tend to carry a lot around. When the burden gets too heavy, I go for a long hike and let nature lighten my load.
Thoughts and Prayers.

Bob said...

I know the bible says that "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" but sometimes it's hard to grasp. So I trust that our Lord will bring good out of this, and bring us all closer to Him, to that walk and holiness He desires.

darsden said...

Wow, Janie what a blessing for sure but he must really be having a hard time. Been there too I loss 6 of my best friends in 1993!

I too have lost my smile.

{{{Hugs}}} to you and your family along with many Prayers for all.

totila said...

We love you, Janie. Our hearts are with you.

SSP said...

awww janie girl, so sorry to hear about the heaps on your soul, and ever so glad Younger Son admitted he was too tired......don't forget to breathe!!

Wolfy said...

Geez - sounds like eveything fell on you and your people at once. Hope the writing is somehow cathartic for you, and that all will come through everything as well as possible, both physically and emotionally.

Wolfy

Pam said...

Oh Janie, wish I were where I could give you a big hug. Know that I am thinking of you and TMYL and YS and praying for all of you.

Vodka Mom said...

I'm wrapping you in love, heifer.


BIG arms of love.

i beati said...

That's a very big plate of reality there girl plus surgeries leave people mid age and on a bit bewildered. My friend just had emergency gall bladder surgery and she's been crotchedy ever since,no smile in her voice.

I was just hinking to day how kids have that positive pureness until life hits them on the head..this is a terrible one.Hope he will still be less of a cynic and more of an optimist after..

that's a big triple dose there lady ..my plate is full also although not that heavy .

MD Anderson diagnosed me after a wrong prior diagnosis - the best ever,.

Suzy said...

Horrible news except for that your son wasn't in that car. Losing an arm for a mandolin player? A dead passenger? Your friend's illness? I would have lost my smile (and sanity) too.

Hang on.

Far Side of Fifty said...

You could always clean something..it usually makes me feel better!
I am deeply sorry for your younger sons losses..hard thing to go through..you are a good Mom you will help him get through it all. Thank goodness he stayed home..his guardian angel was working overtime!

That damn Cancer in the brain..it really sucks..I am hearing more and more people with that diagnosis.
Sending you a hug! :)

Snappy Di said...

Oh gosh, Janie. Feeling so badly for your son and the emotions he is obviously having to deal with. Thank goodness he stayed home that night. Thank goodness.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

Captain Dumbass said...

Wow. Sending a big hug your way.

Junosmom said...

Your smile isn't lost, it just needs to rest while you heal. Prayers for you and yours.

Gwynne said...

There are times for smiling, and there are times for being still. I pray for God's comforting arms around you and your family. The pain your son must feel right now is unimaginable. God bless you all!

Anonymous said...

There is a saying that goes something like this: "Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail." Not that anyone you mentioned failed, but they will all certainly rise up over that which troubles them, as all of this, too, shall pass. Bless you and yours!