Sunday, March 22, 2009

FlyClear - Get Through Those Security Lines Quick!

When you’re at Denver International, you’d best have all your little duckies in a row and get there plenty of time before boarding. Walking through security there is like walking through a maze.

Did you know that you can Fly Clear? Clear has come to major airports -and you can fly through airport security! For a small annual fee, you can sign up, skip the lines, and get in and out of security in a flash. Last October, I signed up for this service. They do a background check, make sure all your little duckies are in a row, and you're in. I came home, and a couple of days later, I had my Clear security card waiting for me in my mailbox.


I flashed it at ThatManILove. Here’s how it went from there…


TMIL: What did you have to give up to get that?
Janie: What do you mean?
TMIL: Fingerprints? What?
Janie: Oh…ummm…fingerprints. And…umm…pictures of my irises. (His eyebrows go up past his hairline - and that's a ways!) And...ummm... copies of my passport and drivers license. (No. Hell, no. I didn't even tell him I paid for the privilege of giving that stuff away.)
TMIL: Girl. You’re in the system now. Did they put a microchip in your forehead?
Janie: No. God. I didn't even think about that. Shut it, please.


Visions of the end days and "666" flashed before my eyes. How could I have been so stupid?

Months pass.

We go to Denver. ThatManILove grabs a brochure for Clear and reads it. Decides to sign up and get hizownbadself “in the system”. When we go to the airport for our return flight, we get there 3 hours early just to sign up.

Here he is going through “the drill.”


We’re almost through when I pull the plug.


Janie: Just one more thing, honey. They've done your iris pictures, taken good shots of your fingerprints. Now. See this copier? They need an image of your bare butt.
TMIL: What?


I was teasing about that part. But not about the Clear Card. For the record…it took me 7 minutes to get through Denver security with my Clear Card. It took ThatManILove 18 minutes without his.


You go through the Clear line, put your card into the machine, an attendant double checks your i.d. and the card. Then, the uniformed attendant helps you unpack your laptops, etc., puts them in bins, and carries them for you - oh, yes, he does - up to the x-ray machine. All you have to do is follow the attendant. And, yes, if you happen to be wondering what happens next, the attendant politely steps in front of the line, secures a place for you, at the front of the line, making you first in a line of a million people, right at the entrance to the x-ray machine, puts your items on the roller, and steps back, after bidding you a good day.

Nobody gripes that you just major line-jumped, or anything. It almost makes you feel guilty.

Naaaaaaah. It doesn't. Pampered, yes. Guilty, no. And the whole time, ThatManILove is watching, and shaking his head in disbelief. And if ThatManILove wasn't a believer, he by golly is now.


25 comments:

Dave King said...

I have a feeling that we're all in the system now - and we don't all get perks for being in, so I would say you've done well.

Janie at Sounding Forth said...

I'm with ya, Dave...

Pearl said...

Now that's the smartest thing I've heard all day!
Pearl

Terri aka Pepsi's Mom said...

From many personal experiences-the time spent in security will make the difference in getting off the ground at DIA. When the blizzard is setting in, and you have been in line for over 4 hours, and they shut down the airport 5 people ahead of you. DIA is NOT a 5 star hotel! My daughter will not even come home during the winter anymore. We do Christmas in July now!
Sounds like a deal, I am ready to sign up!

midlife slices said...

I don't mind being "in the system" because I suspect Dave is right.

Just think what a person could do with an extra 11 minutes. Wow, the possibilities are endless. *wink*

Stu Pidasso said...

Disinformation is the way to undo their diabolical plan. My broth.....er.....I mean sisters and I all post fake information every chance we get. It is hilarious to see how much wrong info is on the internet out there when we do searches for ourselves. Oh well, back to work here in.........Anchorage, Alaska.

thisisme said...

Sounds like a good investment in your time and sanity to me. And as Dave said, you will already be in the system, so someone to carry your stuff and get you through the head of the queue sounds good to me.

Warped Mind of Ron said...

Sign me up for the "system" I'll even go in to have the microchip embedded in my ass.

Jenni Jiggety said...

Wow...that is pretty sweet! I wouldn't mind being in the system!

Fragrant Liar said...

Oh man, for that kind of convenience, I'm almost willing to give up my identity. Well, not my identity. But that's pretty clearly cool. I will have to check it out.

The Daily Blonde said...

I just went thru the airport wait a few weeks ago..this is AWESOME!

Mariah said...

An extra minute or two would be helpfull, I wouldn't mind being in the system

Cactus Jack Splash said...

I hate flying...
I hate security checks...
Sounds like this card might be something I might like

Lee of MWOB said...

That is awesome!! If I wasn't a mama of three young kids chained to my kitchen, I would fly more often like I USED to. And I would for sure get a clear card. That was killer info!!

:-)

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

Dang... we moved and I now need to update my passport if I want to be in the system...

Oh, well... once we all sign up there will just be a long ass line to get through again which would mean we are all back at square one again.

Di

Barrie said...

I want one. Now. Oh, fine. Maybe I should renew my passport first!

Anonymous said...

Those security queues are a nightmare - but necessary I'm sure. They should introduce that system at Heathrow.

belle bamford said...

I don't know why I came through as anonymous! It must have been your security system.

numberonesistah said...

I love those front of the line pass things! My first experience with one was at Universal Studios, tons of poor {suckers} people lined up in the queue and there's me and my fam, sailing by in the 'front of the line' aisle for people smart enough to pay the extra $15 to skip the waiting.

Ann's Rants said...

See. Now that's the sort of thing I'd shrug off and never do for no good reason. FlyClear should pay you. Wait. Are they paying you? ;)

blognut said...

I should totally have that thing. I am not a patient woman. I am not.

Get me that thing! Now!

Bee Repartee said...

Wow, I didn't know the airlines did that.

I also haven't been on a plane in about 13 years.

So you can't joke about shoe bombs now? ~snicker~

Jeanne said...

The things you can learn from wandering around the blogsphere....

Michelle said...

We are systematically all in the system sista!!

Your irises? NO right?

Still thats way cool!!!

Junosmom said...

Well, if ever I'm allowed out of Kentucky again, (which it isn't look good) I'll have to sign up!