Friday, March 27, 2009

Not The Mommy! Not The Mommy!

On Friday mornings (supposedly) my housecleaners are scheduled to clean my house (supposedly). We were out late last night, so got up early to “straighten” up for the housecleaners. (Don’t laugh – you know you do it, too!)

I left the house to make an 8:20 a.m. appointment. I realized I had forgotten to leave payment, so called and asked ThatManILove to take care of it for me.

TMIL: Janie-girl, where’s the checkbook?
Janie: In my grandmother’s hutch. If it’s not there, it’s in my computer bag in the closet.
TMIL: Okay.

Later on this morning, I was having a quick phone conversation with Jill of JillJillBoBill fame, and ThatManILove calls on my office phone. Here’s how it went down:

TMIL: I have ransacked your bedside table drawers, and I cannot find your checkbook.
Janie: Dude. You wrote the check for me last week, and I’ve not written any more checks. Where did you put the checkbook?
TMIL: I don’t know.
Janie: Did you look in my grandmother’s hutch, or my computer bag?
TMIL: No. I just remember sitting on your side of the bed and writing the check.
Janie: Then you probably got the checkbook out of my computer bag.
TMIL: You’re right! Here it is! Bye!

I can hear Jill laughing on the other phone. By now, I’m freakin’ growling. Immediately, I hear Jill’s husband Rick come into their house, and ask Jill a question. I'm straining my ears to hear.

Rick: “Honey, do you know where I left my shoes?”

Jill answers him, giving him the exact location. I crack up. Jill joins me. I mean, the timing of our husbands.could.not.have.been.better.

Janie: Tell Rick I think he and TMIL may be brothers from a different mother.

And everyone wonders why women age faster than men.


The Blue Ridge Gal said...

We have a saying in our house... when Hubby cannot find something I say, "would you like the uterus to find it for you"? And lo and behold the uterus finds it... The uterus knows all. It's sort of a cross between a tracking device and a fortune teller's magic ball.... LOL

The Blue Ridge Gal

Sandi said...

I am so embarrassed to say that I am the husband in this household. I can't keep track of shit. If it doesn't call me mom, I will misplace it.

Annie said...

They may claim to be the stronger sex, but honestly, without a woman to show them where the country they want to invade is, they'd never find it!

Uggh! LOL

Jane! said...

They'd be so screwed without us.

Jeanne said...

I used to have a boss who would insist, "A uterus is NOT a homing device."

But I'm afraid she was wrong.

Ann's Rants said...

That PICTURE. YIKES...Too funny.

Helen said...

Your post today reminded me of that adorable cartoon .. my daughter loved saying 'not the mommy, not the mommy' to her children when they were small ........ so funny and so much laughter!

Travis Erwin said...

I think y'all hide stuff from us just so you can have these little victory moments.

jill jill bo bill said...

You are SO right. Always. We are always right. The sooner they learn that, the better things will be.
They have to be related.
Does that mean we can have christmas together now?!

Julie said...

Happy Saturday! I'm here trying to get caught up on my blog reading....

I think it's a gene that men get at birth. My own son does this to me.

It's like they think the uterus is a tracking device!

amelia bedelia said...

Men! No kidding.

♥georgie♥ said...

LOL....Janie and I am so jealous you are seeing Jilly next week!

Queen Bee said...

That's too much. My boyfriend does stuff like this and we don't even live together.

I'm thinking that's a bad sign.

midlifeslices said...

All husbands do the "have you seen my..." routine. My husband says he just does it to let me know he always needs me. I tell him....that's a crock of shift if I ever heard one. LOL

Men. Can live with 'em and can't live without 'em.

blognut said...

It's comforting to know that I am not alone in this shit. Seriously.

Junosmom said...

How'd you get my photo on your blog?