Janie and Jilly Do Mansfield - Part 1

I promised, so here it be...the Jill and Janie Chronicles, Chapter 1.

(Who really talks like that? I mean, the “here it be” part?)

I called Jill, she of Jill Jill Bo Bill fame, Wednesday sometime. We had discussed me leaving Midland around 2 p.m., so as to miss the Fort Worth traffic and still get to Mansfield, our designated special meeting place. She told me it was halfway. (I beg to differ. My odometer says I trucked almost 350 miles. I think the Jilly-girl logged 90, up and back. Heifer.) We decided I’d call when I got to Weatherford, then she’d leave her house and head my way.

I really tried to leave Midland at 2 p.m....but it just didn’t work. Sometime right after lunch I found out we have a field trial this coming weekend, so I had to make last minute arrangements to take Zack the Wonder Dog to the trainer so he could rack up some practice before I came back home. I got packed, loaded him up, left the house...and there had been a wreck at the end of my street. I think 400 cars were diverted right in front of my house. I finally pulled out, got about 2 miles out of town, and realized I’d left Zack’s special food, and his medicine. Can’t have my Wonderdog getting sick on me! So, I turned around, going another way to miss the wreck. I missed the wreck, all right, but drove upon two more fender benders that had happened within the diverted traffic.

I swear, this stuff only happens to me. In Midland, no less. In a 30 mph neighborhood.

I finally got back home, loaded everything up, and headed to Big Spring to drop the Zackster off. He was SO excited, pacing up and down the seats in my truck, that dog knew Exactly.Where.He.Was.Going and that it meant “Hunting, Mom! Hunting! Hunting!” He is so funny.

And, I headed down the road. I think I left Big Spring at 3:30 p.m. I am freaking out, thinking I am going to be way late getting to Jill. We’ve had many a late night telephone conversation, but we’ve never met in person. I’m very excited - I know we’re going to have fun, finally!! LaToya the Sequoia and I put the pedal to the medal and drive about 83 all the way...and I beat Jill to our meeting place...’cause that’s how I rock, ya know.

I walk in to Johnny Carino’s, and she’s not yet there. I get a table, and wait. And wait. And wait.

Okay, I’m lying. She got there in like 5 minutes.

I had told Jill I was slobbing out in a t-shirt and sweats. No makeup. Not even any earrings. Hair screaming. Looking my very best for my hot internet date. You know what that heifer said? “Oh, me too! I’m wearing sweats. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Who cares what we look like?”

What a liar.

Jill glides in the door, beautiful, cute vest, all blinged up, hair cute as a button, perfect Texas Big Hair. And yeah, she’s got on sweats...velour ones. She’s probably going to call “What Not To Wear” on me, and y’all are going to get to see all my bad fashion diseases.

Heifer. (Have I told you I love this Jilly girl?)

Jill and I started talking, and it was like we’d known each other forever, and were just meeting for a meal(which I don’t even remember eating. I swear.). We can’t wait for ThoseMenWeLove to meet each other - we just know they’ll get along great! And if these same men ever get sick simultaneously, we’re going to lock them together in the same house so they can figure out how much men whine when they have the Man Cold. And we will go thrift store shopping. That’ll show them!

The managers kicked us out of the restaurant, I went to my hotel, and Jilly drove home - and called me when she got there so I wouldn’t worry about her.

Destiny, bloggers, destiny. It could happen to you! You just have to have the “want to” and the patience to wait on people who are perpetually late, like me.

Jill, thanks for your patience, chica. I’ll be back in town in a couple of weeks - like February the 10th or so. The famous Rebecca is going to cut my hair, and she’ll be serving margaritas and wine. Be there or be square! Now, quit showing your boob, heifer! Here's a better picture of us. Jill's the one on the left. Do you like my extensions?

To be continued sometime in February...