Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Holy Crapola, Wonderdog!

I came home from work today, hauling in tons of clothes from the cleaners.  I opened the door, and out bounded Zack the Wonder Dog.  He was wayyyyy too happy to see me, and I knew it.  He was trying to tell me something.

As I crossed the threshold of my front door, I figured out why.


Zack had accidents.  And yes, I mean accidents, in the plural.  Of the poopy, runny kind.


Have I told y’all that our house is 100% tiled, and there is a reason for it?  Well, it’s the dogs.  Not because of accidents, but because it’s easier to clean up the hair they shed and the mud they track in.  Zack has had one prior accident in this house, and by no means was it accidental.  He was getting back at me for putting a dog kennel in my truck and leaving without him in it.  Zack somehow knew I was going to pick up another puppy, and paid us back in spades. Today, this wasn’t the case - it seems he had an upset stomach.


My dog is a cultured dog, however.  Then, and now, he picked his places to poop.  And, again, yes, I mean places.


We have a huge brown and white sculptured zebra rug under our dining room table.  it is beautiful.  Zack must have had a desire to keep within the color scheme, if you know what I mean.


ThatManILove called me and told me he was heading home.  I started cleaning more furiously, hoping against hope to have it all done within the hour.  As I clean, I find more and more poop.


For the last hour, I have been crawling around with the Oxy-Clean and wet rags and cleaning up poop stains from my rug.  I’ve had to use an old toothbrush to get some of it up.  And to top that, ThatManILove just came in from the field after a 36 hour day with no sleep, and he’s running the FloorMate (Oh, let me count the ways I love him?  He won’t let me do that, he thinks he’s the FloorMate King.)


All the while, Zack...sleeps.  Snoring and snuffling.  On the big sectional couch. You see, all is well in his world. He has his masters attending to his every desire.


A dog’s life is as it should be.  Lord help me quick, where’s the Febreze?


29 comments:

A. Kichu said...

Cultured DOg.. Wish i had one!

Sunny said...

you've got a new design, cool!

Stu Pidasso said...

You are a very patient woman. I love my Brutus, but when he makes the move to my house (if he gets to) he will be a YARD DOG. No hair and no surprises for me.

Soxy Deb said...

Ahhh, to be a dog...

TexasRed said...

Yesh. You guys are very patient, I think a dog at our house would be spending some quality time with the backyard after that.

Irish Gumbo said...

Sounds like Zack has been talking to my cats ('Barfy' and 'Smelly') on how to run an entourage. I may just have to tile the floors, good idea...

Even being fully aware of the title of this post, I was surprised that it was actually about...crap! Good redirect on the subject, Janie! :)

Janie said...

A. Kichu - girl...wanna borrow Zack or Zanna? They will Rock. Your. World.

Sunny - after I screwed up my template yesterday, I just went to another freebie by Blogger just to clean it up.

Stu - I know. They've always been house dogs, they're part of our family.

Soxy - oh, yes. And to have every single desire granted at the drip of drool.

TexasRed - Don't you know the 15 second rule of dogs? If you don't catch them in the act within 15 seconds, the moment is gone from their minds.

Irish - tile is a very, very good thing. As to redirect, what in the crap are you talking about?

Irish Gumbo said...

*laughinghard* I meant redirect in the sense that the title managed to 'redirect' my train of thought to something beyond the obvious implied subject. That's a good thing! You zigged when I thought you were going to zag. Your title was good hook, or 'hooky' as my writer/editor friend says.

In other words, the subject wasn;t what I thought it was going to be, but I was pleasantly surprised and it made a great story just the same. That is good writing! :)

Pam said...

Poor Zack...at least he confined himself to the floor and rug this time, right? Any clue what triggered this attack? Sorry you had to clean it up, though. Why is it that when they have the messy poops they feel the need to distribute them ALL over the house? The Queeen has done the same.

Janie said...

Irish - I'm here to serve, senor.

Pamo - I have no idea what caused it, he's eating well, everything's find. Quantity and size are everything, though, in your grouping the Queen with Zack. 70 pound dog poops WAY more than a .7 pound dog. If you don't believe it, well, we can always switch for a week or so. I'm sure The Bearded One would LOVE that!

Tiffany said...

When I die, I wanna come back as one of your dogs. LOL

Janie said...

Tiff - no problem. What kind of dog food do you like?

jill jill bo bill said...

So sorry about your CRAPPY day. Here's hoping you don't RUN into anymore issues.I wiSH IT would not have happened to that rug. I want one, preferrably poop-free.

Valerie said...

If I have neglected to change my little doggies pad he'll go on the carpet under the table. I hate it! He won't go poop if there's already poop in the vacinity. He'll even go into another room. If his pad is clean he'll go on it. lol

i beati said...

I'm tiled too for 23 year old dogs

Michelle said...

Janie i now have a visual in my head of you crawling around with a toothbrush scrubbing poop!!! It's a nice visual, don't get me wrong but still!! You are crawling and scrubbing!!! Perhaps next time, you can be standing????

Great story!!!!

M

Michelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Janie said...

Jill - you are CRACKing me up!

Valerie - I probably should have used the pads, but I've never done so. Zack was easy to train. This was just an aberration (I'm hoping, anyway!).

Sandy - it works, doesn't it?

Michelle - you should probably ask me to just send you a video - then you'd really be laughing!

Fragrant Liar said...

Sounds like you were up to your neck in poop. An endless stream of it. Poor thing. I hate when that happens, especially when it's a cat!

KJ

Janie said...

FL - you called it, girl. It was Horrible.

Hafts Happenings said...

Oh man, that same thing happened to my sister yesterday, she said she was gagging cleaning it up. I would agree with some of the other comments, you are very patient! Yes, I agree tile is a very good thing. Marlo

Jeanne said...

We have leather furniture, and I'm slowly replacing all the carpet with tile or laminate. If you're gonna have dogs and not go crazy, you have to adjust your environment!

Hafts Happenings said...

Thank you for the tip. I have been messing around with the colors all day, trying to make it more eye appealing. :) Marlo

beth at aunties said...

Oh No, sorry about the surprise! You are such a good doggie mom:-)
I am glad you man treats you so well! We both have keepers:)
Thank You for all your sweet comments!!!!!

Midlife Slices said...

Oh Crap!! I mean, oh no...that's terrible. Hope that little stain on the Zebra doesn't inch it's way back up to the top. They do that, ya know.

Me said...

I like the new look over here, is it new? I'm all for tile floors, tile or wood. I have wasted a HUGE amount of my life cleaning carpets.

Gwynne said...

Oh, my! Poor Zack! I hope he feels a lot better! Any idea what happened? Poor Janie! I hope your rug comes clean!

Braja said...

Ah crap :)

Vodka Mom said...

I can smell it from here!!


(LOVE your new look. LOVE IT. )