Saturday, April 19, 2008

I Couldn't Resist...

MLH and I laughed until we cried over this e-mail, so I thought I'd share it...

Summer Classes for Men
THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Friday, August 25, 2008

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video.

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

7 comments:

thisisme said...

I love it - wonder how easy it is to sign some of them up? They left a course out though - hanging up towels and bathmats after use!!!

Janie said...

That's funny!

Karen said...

I have someone who I could sign up for this! Ahem! I am always telling the husband, my uterus is not a homing device!

scotte said...

okay okay! I think there are classes for wives also. It entails
1. How to tell if your man has zoned into the tv and out of the conversation. (He did not hear 1 word)
2. How to balance a checkbook! just because you have checks does not mean you have money.
3. Parallel parking (just don't)
4. Shoes are not a major food group(125 pairs is enough-your foot quit growing years ago)
5. Girls don't outshoot boys at sporting clays
6.Forget the above 5 rules (honey, whats for dinner???)
love ya
scotte

Snooty Primadona said...

Where do we sign them up? This is hilarious!

Janie said...

Karen - you are hilarious!!

Scott - Sure there are!

Snooty - I KNEW you'd love it!

Bridgegirl said...

We were looking up Moss Creek Ranch to find out more about it and ran into you logs and I laughed so hard I was crying while reading them to my Exec. Chef hubby. Wish there were more!!!! They are all so true.