Today found me at our local theatre, enjoying the movie “Up in the Air” with ThatManILove. Fun stuff, that!
Until....the urge came upon me. Yes, that urge. I had imbibed too much of my 1 liter Dasani water and had to crawl across my husband’s legs to make it to the ladies’ room. We’re in Theatre 14, which means I have access to the least utilized bathroom - yeehaahhh!
I go in. The bathroom, overall, seems clean enough. Onwards, I trudge, past stall 1, to stall 2. (Wonder how many people do that? I should probably go in stall 1, if it’s clean.) I open the door, ready the place (which means I killed three trees lining the toilet seat with toilet paper, not that I even sit down on it) and do my business. I slide the latch with my elbow, and open the door with my foot.
All while counting. Don’t ask me where that came from, I’m just trying to get out of there asap.
I’m so ready to get out of there, I get to the main door and reach for the handle when I realize I’ve been so concentrating on getting out of there, I’ve not yet washed my hands. I turn, and run back to the sink, where for once in my life there is hot water and soap. HALLELUJAH! Can you sing Happy Birthday and still count? I did it! Wonder if I'm a little OCD??
I wash my hands, and turn to the air dryers, still counting. What is that freaking counting about? I turn on the air dryer with my elbow, and start drying my hands.
And then, I remember someone saying how more germs go through those air dryers than any other appliance.
I start praying over the air dryers like I pray over my food...”Lord, please dry my hands to the nourishment of my body, and kill all those germs.” Crap. What number was I on? Dang it!
Finally, my hands are dry enough to get out of that germ-ridden place there. I pull my hand into my hoodie sleeve, and open the bathroom door. Inside, I'm exulting - I feel like I’m a prisoner, been set free.
Lord help me. Now where's that anti-bacterial lotion?
16 comments:
Counting what? The number of seconds you missed in the movie---number of squares of tp used---number of kilowatts used to run the dryer? You kill me, you literally kill me! Hope you enjoyed the movie. When are you going to OKC?
Sometime this week - maybe Sunday? i don't know. I might drive.
Think how far I could count before I got there!
My dad always played games with his odometer, I used to do that too til my odometer cable broke :(. I'm going to OKC on Tuesday and will be there til Saturday or Sunday. Gotta get home 'cause I'm subbing Mon-Wed for Pam.
Yeah, well guys flush the toilet with their feet to avoid touching anything. Course we don't count.....
:-)
looks like a great film sandy
No doubt about it, public restrooms are the worst.
Movie theater bathrooms can be really bad. Walmart's the worst. But whatever... I hate going to public restrooms too.
Don't get that counting thing, though. Maybe it's a concentration thing?
I count everything and never thought it was unusual until you pointed it out.
A little OCD? Yeah, whatever. I make up for it on the other end of the spectrum. What did you think of the movie? Do you think I'm awful for almost wishing I was the George Clooney character?
LMAO.... I can't stand the public restrooms either....esp since everybody in the South waits to do their "big bizness" there...WTF don't you people check yourself before you leave the house...YUCK!!! It is almost worth purchasing some depends to keep the cooties away!!!
I feel ya and am counting with you! When you count you don't KNOW your nose hairs are on Fire!!!!
You. Are. Insane.
.....esp since everybody in the South waits to do their "big bizness" there...
Ain't just the south. Who are these guys that wait until they get to the restaurant for breakfast to take a dump? A dump fueled by a case of Bud the night before. Don't they have a bathroom at home? Good God, Dracula walks in and asks who died in there?
Holy shit, TWC and Darsden, y'all are cracking me up! (I know, it wasn't EVER a far walk!)
Who was it who actually invented those air dryers? :-)
Janie, I'm pretty new to your blog, but you crack me up!
Good stuff.
Wolfy
I do it the easy way and just keep a very small bottle of Purell in my purse. Ahhh, life is so easy in my world... LOL
Post a Comment