Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The Cure to Any Marriage Woes - Just Shoot Like a Girl!

Scanning the online news today, I saw the headline How To Live Longer on

One of the sub-topics was “Don’t Be A Drama Queen” and you’ll live longer.

Who writes this stuff?

The article had some great points, though, for couples...

  1. Fight fair.
  2. Women’s hearts suffer when they hear or make hostile comments.
  3. Men’s hearts reacted badly when confronted with domineering words.
Please note the article did not define a "Drama Queen" to be male or female.  (And baby, I’ve seen both!  Remember, I hang out a little bit with golfers, shooters, AND team ropers.  Grown-up ones! Whinier people I’ve never seen - but I won’t go there.  Oops.  Already did.)

Well, okay then.  I’ll make you a deal, honey darlin’, ThatManILove.  I won’t tell you what to do if you don’t get hostile.  Bueno?  I mean, I can't remember you ever getting hostile, but this is merely a preventative step.  

Agreed? Truce-amundo? Capiche?

If we ever get to the point where we can’t agree, then let’s at least agree to repair to the ol’ shooting range.  And you can even pick the shotgun shells, the date, time, and weather conditions. A duel, as it were.  Our shotguns are of the same quality and caliber, so it's a push there (even though I did win the Beretta Teknys, give it to you, then beg for it back when I started having major Browning Gold malfunctions.    But I’m NOT an indian giver - and you were so sweet to let me have it that day I shot 89/100.  Notice, I ran right to the gunsmith and he cut the stock down for a custom fit - for me! Have I told you lately that I love you?  And I love that 30" barrel?)  But, I digress.  Back to the case in point.

When and if we ever disagree and I admit, there is the rare occasion, let’s just take it to the sporting clay range.  Let’s work it out there.  Okay?  Then, you’ll be dominated without hostile words, and you’ll live longer.  Just pure-d talent will prevail.  And we’ll both take our aggression out on those little clay targets.

In other words, rope up, cowboy, and shoot like a girl.  Your girl!  And we'll both live longer.

Finish that job and hurry home.  ThatGirlYouLove misses you!



Vodka Mom said...

Last time I shot a gun my shoulder hurt for a WEEK.

Janie at Sounding Forth said..., my dear, need a custom fit stock. Then, you could rock and roll!

Sandy Kessler said...

super cool sandy

Terri aka Pepsi's Mom said...

Janie, I LIKE this! Words of wisdom for the hunter/shooter clan! My Hubbie's custom shortened stocks work perfect for me! That's why I live him so....well one of the reasons... LOL

Joanie M said...

My ex-husband should be thanking his lucky stars there was no gun in the house when I caught him cheating. Or maybe Maleficent (that slut he married) should be glad of that when I got her address when I caught them cheating.

I settled for the house and lots of alimony instead.

♥ Braja said...

Vodka Mom, armed and acheous....

The Wine Commonsewer (TWC) said...

Last time I shot a gun my shoulder hurt for a WEEK.

My shoulder didn't hurt but it sure turned black and blue. That's what happens when all you're wearing is a tee shirt. Good lesson. The Boy took one look and said, I don't wanna shoot that thing.

The Wine Commonsewer (TWC) said...

So, Vodka Mom. You married to Vodka Pundit? :-)

Suzy said...

That makes sense to duke it out like that. And I'll bet women try extra hard because they get extra mad!

And they should, men make us EXTRA mad!

Anonymous said...

You are so funny :)!

And thank you for your understanding. Truly. Merci beaucoup!

Pearl said...

That's actually pretting interesting. Food for thought!

Loved the gun references/info -- a whole 'nuther world for me, as I've never shot a gun in my life. Is that weird?


Sandy Kessler said...

we are so missing you where are you New year's Woman ??